Title says it all, really. I recently stumbled across a series of photos of a large-scale battle scene I had constructed out of all sorts of different Lego sets. So of course the only natural course of action was to “react” (for lack of a better term) to this grand vista (though this will be more like a director’s commentary than anything else).

But first, a smidgen of context. This was far from the only battle of this kind that I constructed, and they weren’t always out of Lego. I wasn’t the type of kid who would play with their toys by moving their action figures around and acting out scenes. No, I preferred to meticulously craft stories out of my action figures, placing each one with precision and care. Was Optimus Prime taking on three Decepticons or was he going to be pinned down? These days my love of a well-constructed story lives on in the Adventures of the Northern Lights (at the time of writing, still to be kicked off, but take a look at the secret preview image below).

This is, to my knowledge, the only battle of this ilk documented on camera, alas. I am certain my mother took these photos, as I was not initiated with a camera then, and certainly did not have a mobile phone as a child in 2010 yet. I made these so frequently that it was not a priority to document every single one of them.

But without further ado, let’s get into it. I’ll divide the area into three distinct sections for convenience. If you’ll refer to the image at the top, the segmentation will be done through three columns. The middle column will have a width consisting of the width of the baseplate the pyramid is sitting on. Thus the left column will be everything to the left of the pyramid and the right column everything to the right, for simplicity’s sake.

The Left Column

The left column is mostly taken up by a body of water, though it is hard to tell given the lack of blue cloth present. You will be able to see, essentially, a dam wall in the photos, indicating the edge of the ‘water’.

At the close end of the water we can see a jetty with a couple of Power Miners trying to wrangle a rock monster. In the water, meanwhile, a giant crab is being directed by a squid monster, as a shark follows. The human base can also be seen there in the bottom left of the image. A couple if divers sit, while a small aquatic vehicle is moored nearby, one of many sets we had from the Atlantis line. The only other things in this area visible are a strangely-coloured buoy and a blue man diving into the water.

All in all this is a pretty boring start, but don’t worry, we’ll get to cooler (and much stranger events later).

Like right now. Moving along the water we now get to this segment, where we can see a boat with Imperial markings piloted by Mola Ram of all people. Alongside it is Luke Skywalker’s landspeeder (come to think of it, I’m not sure how that craft would actually react with water). A few other characters I can’t identify tussle on the back of the boat, with General Veers on the front for some reason.

Meanwhile a man in the top left tinkers with a device of some kind, while a mine seems very happy to have fished up a skeleton in the top right.

There’s not really much more to say. I can’t possibly fathom the reasoning behind the selection of these characters other than ‘they’re cool’, which i suppose is reason enough to include them to a 10-year-old.

Moving on, this is where things start to get a little bonkers. I’ll identify the Tyrannosaur in the room first- yes that does appear to be a medical T-Rex there. Don’t ask me why, I haven’t the foggiest idea why I thought that would be a good idea, much less why it’s at the docks.

But to address some of the other elements present, there appears to be a boat refuelling up in the top right. Outside of the secret room with the T-Rex and the treasure, a whole host of characters are milling around, some of which include Lucius Malfoy and Hagrid from Harry Potter, a pirate, a singer, and diver with a surfboard and a couple of astromechs. Lastly, on the left side of the image, a couple of criminals can be seem assaulting a man in a sombrero, because it seems young me had a thing against sombreros.

The Middle Column

Jumping back to the pyramid, we’ll start looking at the middle column now. Immediately apparent is the pyramid itself, with several easy-to-identify elements. A motorcycle race is occurring, while (young) Obi-Wan Kenobi and an X-Wing pilot look on.

A sandtrooper riding a hornless-triceratops (in lieu of a Lego Dewback) as well, with a rock monster and rebel soldier present on the other sides observing the pyramid. Lastly, in the left of the image there appears to be a couple of soldiers fighting, while a third one takes aim (with a fourth one taking aim at him).

Moving along, there’s not much to see in the next part. A man appears to be scavenging in a junk pile. Although, given his hands are on fire, maybe he’s a crash survivor instead.

A cottage hut is our next stop. The main thing of note here is the wizard, who appears to be cooking a soup of some kind. Guests are around, but I can’t identify any of them as specific characters. A car drives a soldier away nearby.

Now we get to the dock area again, but specifically the area outside the area further along, which appears to be a residence. There are several interesting things to note here. We’ll begin with the faction markings.

An imperial insignia appears on a device on the left side of the image, but I can’t tell you what it is supposed to be unfortunately. But I can tell you that the republic insignias in the kitchen are meant to represent gas stove tops.

Dobby the house elf and C-3P0 toil in the kitchen while Luke Skywalker and Draco Malfoy watch TV right nearby. Rotta the baby Hutt can also be seen in the kitchen while old Obi-Wan stands and looks over from the upper level.

The Right Column

Alrighty, let’s get to the last strip of land. It starts off quite easy to identify, with a ground battle between the galactic republic and separatist armies. You’ll have to refer to the main image of this post to get an idea of the overall layout alas, but close-ups of some of the war machines can be seen below.

These were both actually built out of a cool Lego Star Wars book that had instructions for 8 separate small models, and the parts to build any two at a given moment.

Moving along, we get to the events playing out on top of a mountain. An evil wizard watches from the top of a caste tower while a giant spider menaces Satipo. Indiana Jones, meanwhile, has dived under the spider into a pit of snakes to retrieve a device of some kind. Lastly, there’s a weird alien on the left of the castle doing something with a gun.

Last, but definitely not least, we get to the site of a plane crash in what appears to be icy terrain. A wampa terrorises an adventurer while Han investigates the crash site for survivors (a Jedi woman with a broadsword, for some reason). A lone poor snowtrooper appears to have been flattened by the plane’s crash. Some unknown structure just peaks in from the right, but I can’t tell what it is meant to be, unfortunately.

In conclusion, a lot of this was confusing to look at after all this time. I know I went on to make much more cohesive and action-packed battles later on, and I wish they had been captured like this.

But it’s not the end of the world. I do get the chance to create lots of epic stories and battles with The Northern Lights tales. And just you wait until they take on the final enemy of this phase.